If I were the marrying kind,
And thank the Lord I’m not Sir,
There’d be only one that I would wed,
That’d be the Number 1, Sir

He’d yell “Fire!” and I’d yell “Fire!”,
We’d all yell “Fire!” together,
We’d be alright, in the middle of the night,
Yelling “Fire!” together.

If I were the marrying kind,
And thank the Lord I’m not Sir,
There’d be only one that I would wed,
That’d be the Number 2, Sir

He’d pull cord and I’d pull cord,
We’d all pull cord together,
We’d be alright, in the middle of the night,
Pulling cord together.

If I were the marrying kind,
And thank the Lord I’m not Sir,
There’d be only one that I would wed,
That’d be the Number 3, Sir

He’d yell “On!” and I’d yell “On!”,
We’d all yell “On!” together,
We’d be alright, in the middle of the night,
Yelling “On!” together.

If I were the marrying kind,
And thank the Lord I’m not Sir,
There’d be only one that I would wed,
That’d be the Number 4, Sir

He’d load shells and I’d load shells,
We’d all load shells together,
We’d be alright, in the middle of the night,
Loading shells together.

If I were the marrying kind,
And thank the Lord I’m not Sir,
There’d be only one that I would wed,
That’d be the Number 5, Sir

He’d take post and I’d take post,
We’d all take post together,
We’d be alright, in the middle of the night,
Taking post together.

If I were the marrying kind,
And thank the Lord I’m not Sir,
There’d be only one that I would wed,
That’d be the Number 6, Sir

He’d run line and I’d run line,
We’d all run line together,
We’d be alright, in the middle of the night,
Running line together.

If I were the marrying kind,
And thank the Lord I’m not Sir,
There’d be only one that I would wed,
That’d be the Number 7, Sir

He’d set fuze and I’d set fuze,
We’d all set fuze together,
We’d be alright, in the middle of the night,
Setting fuze together.

If I were the marrying kind,
And thank the Lord I’m not Sir,
There’d be only one that I would wed,
That’d be the GPO, Sir

He’d fuck up and I’d fuck up,
We’d all fuck up together,
We’d be alright, in the middle of the night,
Fucking up together.